Phoenix Ho_Sharing of the week: Saying Yes and Saying No

Dear friends,
I have not shared with you my experience in Vietnam for a long time. Below is a note I posted on my facebook to share with my students.
With care,
Phoenix Ho


Sharing of the week: Saying Yes and Saying No

by Phoenix Ho (Notes) on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 at 12:57pm

For all the young gals and guys whom I have been fortunate to meet and provide support to... This note is written as a result of many sessions with RMIT Alumni in the last several months. I wish you peace to move on in your new challenging yet also exciting journey of your choice. One
24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year... Do you ever wish you have more time for usage - more time to sit down with family members at dinner time, more time to relax with close friends in a cool coffee shop, more time to sleep and do nothing. The question is, is it time that you need, or is it something else?

Two
24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year... Remember the student days, when you wish you could finish school quickly so that you could stop doing assignments, completing projects, sitting the final exams. You wanted to start making money as much as you could to make your parents proud, to buy the things that you always desire, to be independent. The matter is, do you really need to wait until you graduate from college to live the life you want?

Three
24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year... You suffer from working long hours, carrying out tasks that are not meaningful to you, following rules and policies that don't make any sense. You want to apply what you learned in university time to work, but no one listens to you. You want to be in the position where you could make more money and have more decision making power, but wonder how long it will take you to get there. Ahhh, being young is not as fun as the songs, poems, and novels often depict, isn't it?

Today one Alumna shared with me, 'There are always pros and cons in every choice I make. When I decided to stay in this job, I was fully aware of the challenges as well as the benefits that it brought me. Yes, I worked long hours to complete my work, and yes I came in on Saturday to make sure things were right. But that was my choice, and that was my responsibility. And now when I decided to leave it, I am also aware of the risks that associate with the excitement that this change will bring me. The good news is, I feel like I am getting close to who I am.' That opinion is the most insightful statement I ever heard in the last four years.

Life, I think, is all about saying yes and saying no. Saying yes to a job in a big corporate could mean parents' pride, friends' praises, strangers' respect, good salary, and job security. But it also means long working hours, lots of politics, lack of freedom for creativity, and ... (you fill in the blank). Saying no to a full time job offer that you don't really see yourself fit in could mean parents' concerns, friends' confusion, strangers' critics, and financial difficulties. On the other hand, it also means you have more time to look for the right position, which allows you to sit down and eat dinner leisurely with your family, jump on your motorbike to go meet your friends in your favorite coffee shop instead of clicking 'like' or stating 'I hate it at work' on your wall, and ... (you fill in the blank).

The key is, 'Are you willing to accept the burden that associates the benefits of each decision you make? Is your expectation realistic for the current moment that you are living in?' It is the rule of nature that a person cannot have it all at the same time. You must choose what you want first, accept the responsibilities that come with it, and slowly work your way to where you want to be. Millions of people before you did it, my colleagues and I are doing it, and I believe with time and patience you could do it too.
16 April, 2013

RMIT Vietnam
Saigon South Campus
Phoenix Ho

MEd, MA (Career Development Counseling)
Career Counselor, Career Development and Employment, Student Services

RMIT International University Vietnam
702 Nguyen Van Linh Blvd., District 7, HCMC
Tel: (84-8)776 1300 ext. 2021
Fax: (84-8) 776 1399
Website: www.rmit.edu.vn
RMIT Vietnam has been the winner of the Golden Dragon Award for ten consecutive years 2003-2012